Hilary Phelps helps women navigate life transitions with the right room, a new platform and podcast.
After celebrating 15 years of sobriety a couple of years ago, Hilary Phelps (hilaryphelps.com, @hilaryphelps) realized the power of sharing her story to offer hope and encouragement to other women. She’s now a speaker, addiction recovery advocate, holistic wellness coach and yoga, meditation and breathwork facilitator. She recently unveiled The Right Room (@therightroomofficial) and will launch The Right Room With Hilary Phelps podcast this summer. We recently caught up with the wellness leader, whose younger brother is Olympian Michael Phelps, to chat about her journey.
What are the biggest steps women can take to promote wellness?
Find a community. We’re so pseudo ‘connected’ [via] social media, but as a culture, we’re the loneliest we’ve ever been. Nothing beats human interaction, making us feel part of something bigger than ourselves.
Be mindful of how you speak to yourself. Spend time figuring out what makes you truly happy. Not what society, the news, an institution—a college or the church—tells you should make you happy. This is your life; you deserve to spend it in a way that brings you joy, not living one that other people have told you you should.
Focus on lifestyle behaviors. Get good sleep, eat well, exercise, move, drink lots of water and be mindful of the content you allow into your mind—what you watch and read and who you surround yourself with daily.
Can you share your journey of recovery and sobriety and how it has influenced your mission?
I was the fastest swimmer in the country at one time in my life. I had straight As. I was a record-holding, full-scholarship Division 1 swimmer. I had all the external accolades and achievements but never felt good enough, so I drank.
Every day looked the same. I would wake up with an awful hangover. My body would be in physical pain. I would sit on the floor of the shower every morning and cry, swearing the night before was the last night of drinking. However, by noon, I started to feel a bit better and thought, ‘OK, maybe one more night.’ Rinse and repeat. At least two bottles of red wine every night.
I would forget what had happened the night before, which started feeling scary. One morning, I remember getting a text from a strange number that read, ‘I hope you got home OK. I put you back on the train in Anacostia.’ I had taken the Metro in the wrong direction. The shame of my addiction is what ultimately brought me to recovery.
How do you approach helping women find their voice?
We’re all chasing a life that feels genuinely ours. Yet, every morning, many of us slip on a metaphorical mask, tweaking our persona to match what we think others expect of us.
For me, embracing sobriety was the key to shedding that mask. For some, [the mask] might be retail therapy or comfort food. It’s fascinating, isn’t it? We often reach for something tangible to patch up something elusive and emotional.
I’ve dedicated myself to creating a space where judgment is left at the door. It’s a place where any woman, no matter her story, can feel safe to share and just be. We’re quick to pass judgment in our daily lives, rarely pausing to consider the miles walked in another’s shoes.
What resources or tools do you find the most beneficial?
Mindfulness and meditation. There are many ways to find stillness and silence the mind, but it’s challenging and [requires] practice. It’s not something that happens overnight. Somatics and nervous system regulation are powerful.
We often come from a state of dysregulation, and that’s how we’re showing up in the world, like wounded children walking through life. We get angry at the person who cuts us off in traffic and frustrated when the barista gets our coffee order wrong.
Also, breathwork—it’s life-changing.
What is your mantra?
Embrace transformation, find your voice and live authentically.
Photography by: EUNICE KIM PHOTOGRAPHY
